CHAPTER NINE

I must tell you about the time when Mother and Beth barged into my room and eagerly displayed a white wedding gown. I stared at its beauty with a growing sense of terror.

"Come and try on your wedding dress," Mother said, as if talking to a stubborn imbecile. "That's a good girl!"

That did it! I exploded inside. I snatched up that tulle and lace and ripped it to shreds, crying hysterically.

As I drove my terrified family from my room, I remember Mother wailing,

"She's gone stark crazy!"

"I'm this crazy," I shouted. "To get me down the church aisle you'll have to put me in a strait jacket and drag me!"

I heard the key turning in my door. I flung myself across the bed, too emotionally exhausted to even

weep.

As the dreary days dragged on, Mother and Bob's parents reasoned that if they tried to force a wedding I'd rebel and create a public scandal. But they hoped that when I realized I was pregnant, I'd marry Bob in a quiet, private ceremony at home.

It didn't work out that

way.

Months passed, and when I had no contact from Jan, my heart actually broke.

"That girl has no intention of seeing you again," Mother knifed me. "You were just a convenience to her. Those kind of girls can't be depended on."

One morning Bob sauntered in where I was vacuuming the carpet in the living room. He jerked the plug out of the wall and shoved me down on the divan.

"Got news for you!" Towering over me, he thrust 72

out his chest and cocked his head to one side. Then he told me bluntly, cruelly,

"Heard from a friend of mine in Frisco, that Jan Nelson is living there with a gal who looks very much like you. Jan isn't true to you, but she's true to type.' As he heard my swift intake of breath, a pleased expression came over his mouth.

“Uh-huh," he said smugly. “And this new doll isn't hampered by a family.'

9.9

I couldn't believe that Jan was living with anyone else. My heart denied such a thing. In my mind I could still hear Jan saying, "Melba, I'll always love you." Then Bob bragged,

"I'm the winner!" He made the sign used by the victor in a prize fight, fists clasped above his head. Then, grinning, he plopped down beside me on the divan. "Jan realized you're for me. She had sense enough to clear out before she got kicked out."

I felt as if giant bubbles of rage were blowing up inside of me, bigger and bigger and bigger! Finally all at once they popped. My arm shot out and my palm slammed hard against Bob's grinning mouth.

He caught my wrist and squeezed until pain streaked along my arm, up to my shoulder.

"Maybe you need another pre-marital rape," he said hatefully.

Just as he was shoving me back upon the divan, Mother came into the room, looking for her glasses. Bob let go of me, and cursing him with my eyes, I got up and hurried into the kitchen.

I heard Mother whining,

"Oh, Bob, please be patient. Melba is unstrung. She isn't herself. We'll bring her into line, eventually, dear."

Meek as a lamb, Bob replied, "I sure hope so."

I ran back into the living room, and slapped Bob

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